I shall be suprised if anyone comments;

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I think I have found a song that discribes me.

I feel these four walls closing in
Face up against the glass
I'm looking out, hmmm
Is this my life I'm wondering
It happened so fast
How do I turn this thing around
Is this the bed I chose to make
It's greener pastures I'm thinking about
Hmm, wide open spaces far away

All I want is the wind in my hair
To face the fear but not feel scared

Ooh, wild horses I wanna be like you
Throwing caution to the wind, I'll run free too
Wish I could recklessly love like I'm longing to
I wanna run with the wild horses
Run with the wild horses, oh

Yeah, oh oh, ye-yeah

I see the girl I wanna be
Riding bare-back, care-free
Along the shore
If only that someone was me
Jumping head-first, head-long
Without a thought
To act and damn the consequence
How I wish it could be that easy
But fear surrounds me like a fence
I wanna break free

All I want is the wind in my hair
To face the fear, but not feel scared

Oooh, wild horses I wanna be like you
Throwing caution to the wind, I'll run free too
Wish I could recklessly love like I'm longing to
I wanna run with the wild horses
Run with the wild horses, oh

I wanna run too
Oooh oh oh oh
Recklessly emboundening myself before you
I wanna open up my heart
Tell him how I feel, ooh ooh

Oooh, wild horses I wanna be like you
Throwing caution to the wind, I'll run free too
Wish I could recklessly love like I'm longing to
I wanna run with the wild horses
Run with the wild horses
Run with the wild horses

Ooh ooooh ooh ooh ye-yeah yeah oohh
I wanna run with the wild horses, ooooh

It's called "Wild Horses" by Natasha Bedingfield.   If you think the lyrics sound good, here is the video link to it.  I would try to post the video; but with my luck I would end up deleting everything I'm doing.. so here;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGpnJZPApS0 

Do not worry.  I am going to update.  I have been more depressed now than ever.  Of course there are reasons - and of course one of those reasons would be my weight, yet, I fear that what is making me depressed is what should be making me happy.  I am a very insecure person.  All I want is to stop the tears that fall with no reason behind them. What I want is the passion for my life back...

So forgive me if this post is "sad". 

 

 

So again, I apologize.

post!

I still have not got my computer fixed.

::sighs::

so please, hang in there with me. 

I have not been doing so well lately. 
Talk with me. Interact. Common girls.

Tuesday; 14th

8:25am: 16 Almonds [91cals]
3:15pm: Footlong veggie [+500]

Yes, it's me. Ew.

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0006. Breath in deep, let it out slow. did you hear it's all my fault again?

Why, I ask myself, am I even posting a new blog when my last, oh, THREE have barely had any comments what so every.... hmmm.... What shall be done with that issues....?

How are you beautifuls doing?  It is SO close to October! I will admit, only to you all, that I am terrified of the month October.  Childish it may seem - but oh boy I am a child whom keeps light among light on during october. My phone has been fucking retarted the past week or so.  It SAYS I'm sending out texts - but, I will go back and re-check to make sure...and all that it does it put a little 'Z' next to the message.. never sending the damned things out.  >_<  I am sorry to thhose who I have grown fond off && can not communicate with because of this unknown phone issue! I need your girls input; What should my next post be about?

 

This post will be my ALL-TIME favorite photos.

It hit me all at once.  The pain.  The anguish.  The horror.  The hatred.
 Most people cry, I couldn't.  Most people break down, I wouldn't. 
I did the only thing I knew how to do, I shut myself down completely. 
And in that moment I reached my ultimate goal; I didn't feel a thing. 
That moment I stopped living. - Jenny Leigh

I want to be beautiful in whatever I feel comfortable in.

But there are things you must accept as said and done
There are truths you must learn to confront
You can pray all night and day
You'll always wake the same person in the same place

 

A speical shout-out because this picture made me think of YOU;

DESSIE!

 

And steph-neee girl, I already read this and think of you...

True friendship isn`t about being there
when it`s convenient;
it`s about being there when it`s not.

 

 

 

All of a sudden I understood why people commit suicide. They felt the same kind of pain and blackness I was feeling, and they had to rip it out because they couldn't stand it any longer. If that meant they had to kill themselves, who cared? The pain was unbearable, and they had to get rid of it any way they could.  It wasn't one of those things I wanted to understand, but I didn't have a choice. What was weird about it was that there was something comforting about knowing I could commit suicide. If everything became too hopeless, I had a way out.

Sorry girls... I'm just in one of those.... ... kind of moods.